If Cars Were Celebrities

We all have at one point or another referred to our car in a human form. Some of us have called it the ‘love of our life’, some of us have referred it to as ‘our savior’. Let’s carry it on from there and raise the bar a bit.

Go outside and take a look at your car. Now answer this. If your car were to be an actual human and that too a celebrity, which one would it be? Before telling you to go out in the sun and take part in this seemingly ‘dumb’ exercise, we did it ourselves. And these were the answers we got.

1. Toyota Prius – Woody Harrelson 

Toyota Prius  Woody Harrelson

Woody Harrelson has seen a surge in his Hollywood profile in the recent years. He is a funny-looking guy who primarily does supporting roles. But when he does supporting roles, they turn out to be more than just ‘supporting’. Just like the popular hybrid, Toyota Prius.

It is seldom that Prius is ever a choice for somebody’s first car. It is mostly the ‘second’ car of the family. But just like Woody, Prius does that role so well that nobody dares deem it any less important. Prius is the silent protector that is always working in the background, not caring about the accolades or the applause. And it’s only when it is no more there that you feel a void in your daily life. It is friendly, it is fun and it’ll stay with you for a long long time.

 2. Porsche 911 – Madonna

 Porsche 911 – Madonna

The Queen of Pop has been on the top of her game for decades now. Many have come and many have gone. But she has remained unchanged all this time. Successful, consistent and classy, Madonna has been there and seen it all. The only car that can mirror the longevity and the consistency of Madonna is the great Porsche 911.

Porsche 911 is a high-performance German sports car which has been in production since 1963. Calling Porsche 911 consistent is a gross understatement. It is a sight to behold, a pleasure to drive and a name to bank upon. While the 911 has been remodeled multiple times in its lifetime, it hasn’t really changed on the outside that much. It is still a thing of beauty and an absolute joy to drive.

3. Hummer – Jason Statham

Hummer – Jason Statham

Imagine you are walking in a narrow alleyway at the dead of the night when a group of thugs surround you and you are seconds away from getting beaten to pulp. Now, at that very moment who’d you want yourself to be? Well, if your physical stature and prowess (or should we say the lack of it) as a bare-knuckle boxer is anything like us, you’d most probably want to be Jason Statham.

That guy once beat a group of armed thugs by simply applying oil to his bare body. Anyway, you get the point. He is strong, he is dependable and he can surely take you out of sticky situations.

In a precise sentence, Hummer is Jason Statham ‘automobili-fied’. Alright, yes we made that word up but we are not making it up when we say that when you are riding a Hummer, problems don’t seem that big. SUVs look like toy cars and the highway becomes ‘my way’. You can depend on your Hammer to take on any obstacle and come out unscathed, just like you can on Jason Statham.

4. Maserati Quattroporte – Jennifer Lawrence

Maserati Quattroporte – Jennifer Lawrence

She came. We saw. She conquered. Jennifer Lawrence has caught the world’s fantasy like a wildfire. Within no time, she has reached the top of the Hollywood staircase with her amazing talent and striking looks. From a newbie in ‘The Winter’s Bones’ to grabbing an Academy Award, J-Law went from ‘nobody’ to ‘somebody every one wants’ in less than sixteen Hollywood seconds.

If there is one car that can match the personality of J-Law, then it is the equally striking Maserati Quattroporte. Designed in Italy, Quattroporte is a four-door sports luxury saloon that can go 0-62 mph in less than 4.9 seconds. Having been constantly redesigned since it’s inception, it has only become more sleek and elegant to look at while it’s performance has sped up from one milestone to another just like the lovely Jennifer Lawrence.

5. Land Rover Discovery – Tom Cruise

Land Rover Discovery – Tom Cruise

 He has scaled the tallest building in the world with only a rope tied to his waist as safety gear. He has performed bike stunts of the kind that make even the seasoned stunt men and women think twice. Tom Cruise is the kind of actor who has made an entire career out of running away from things. So, it shouldn’t really come as shocking when we say that there is no celebrity as entertainingly adventurous as ‘The Last Samurai’ himself. Now, if you have a ‘Mission Impossible’ that you’d like to achieve with minimal hiccups while looking dashing as ever, then Land Rover Discovery is the car for you. The Discovery is effortlessly good-looking, an adventure to drive while never threatening to go out of control. The Discovery is currently in it’s fourth generation and is yet to show any signs of slowing down.


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